See if this sounds familiar — Have you been stuck in a cycle of getting motivated to achieve something that would make you really proud of yourself, and then self-sabotage shows up to punch you in the gut, talk you down and ruin all your momentum?

If yes, take some comfort in knowing that it happens to all of us. Now, I’m about to give you a spoonful of bitter medicine that’s going to blow your mind and change your life… SELF-SABOTAGE DOESN’T EXIST.

Yes, you read that right.

I’ll get into what self-sabotage REALLY is in a moment, but first let’s talk about the top three problems with accepting “self-sabotage” as a real thing:

— One: It’s a cop out that keeps you in victim-mode. When you blame self-sabotage, it frees you from the responsibility for your behavior, choices, and life.  It’s like saying “I really want to stop getting in my own way, but I just can’t help myself.” 

— Two: It keeps you in a loop of guilt and shame.  Guilt and shame directly impact your self-esteem, self-confidence, and motivation.  What’s worse is it feeds into your belief that maybe you’re just not good enough or not capable.  

— Three: It keeps you from healing a part of yourself that might really need your energy and attention.

Which leads us directly into what self-sabotage REALLY is:  Put simply, it is a way of protecting yourself. Let’s dive deeper into this. 

The concept of self-sabotage, as is commonly understood, is that the moment you pick up some momentum in the direction of your goals and dreams, you ruin it by falling into habits and patterns that feel out of your control and derail all of your efforts. In the end, you find yourself back at square one.

This is a destructive perspective because it insinuates to your conscious mind that somehow YOU are out to get YOU, and that you can’t stop yourself. If you keep accepting this belief, it eventually becomes your truth. Let’s fix this. 

For this next part, think of something you’ve been wanting to accomplish but haven’t been able to yet:

1. Pinpoint the negative pattern:

At what part does “self-sabotage” usually kick in? How does it show up in your life? And what are the triggers? 

2. Identify the fear:

You now know that self-sabotage is actually a defense mechanism, a way of protecting yourself from something, to be more specific, a fear. Now it’s time to uncover what that fear is, so ask yourself the following questions:

— What am I afraid of and why?

— How would I feel if my fear came true? (This is crucial because what we are really afraid of is not of a circumstance or situation, but rather how we think we will feel as a result. Getting intimate with the feeling we are trying to avoid makes it less scary.)

— Can I handle the worst-case scenario? (hint: the answer is always a BIG YES because the truth is that there is nothing you can’t handle.) 

3. Refocus on your goal EVERY DAY:

Having a daily reminder of your goal and your why can help you overcome the fear is key. When you visualize and embody how you will feel once you achieve your goal, that feeling can be powerful enough to overcome moments of fear and doubt. Make it a point to recommit to your positive vision every day.  

4. Monitor and reframe your self-talk:

Telling yourself “I’m just going to give up again” is the fastest way to GIVE UP, AGAIN. Instead choose to believe in yourself, choose to believe that if you fall you can get back up, and choose to believe that this time will be different. Belief is always a choice, own it.

5. Be selective about who you let in your circle of trust: 

Spending time with people who play the victim, who don’t believe in themselves, and who don’t have goals of their own will negatively influence your own beliefs and attitudes about life and yourself. 

It’s okay to be selective, to spend time with people who see what’s possible for themselves and others, and who believe in your capacity to achieve ANY GOAL you set for yourself. People who travel together will travel further in life.

At The Happy Factory, you’ll find a group of trainers and members who believe in you and your potential; a family that will push you in and out of the gym to accomplish all the goals you set for yourself.

We don’t believe in self-sabotage, we believe in potential and the power of the tribe… come and let us show you what we know you are truly capable of, your first class is always on us.

So, you found your new workout plan, went grocery shopping to start your new meal plan on Monday… even planned a time for meal prep — LOOK AT YOU GO!

And while, yes, that’s fantastic and absolutely necessary, there’s one HUGE step you’re missing to TRULY make your fitness journey successful. And the truth is, without it, the route to your goals will be a lot more challenging than it has to be.

Can you guess what the MOST IMPORTANT FACTOR for your fitness journey is?

YOUR MINDSET.

Yup. Before you flex those quads and biceps you’ll have to flex that mental muscle to work in your favor. So, how can you make that mental change? Below are four steps to get your MIND right so you can get your body right and achieve your goals.

1. Define your best WHY.

Starting your fitness journey is easy, but seeing it to the end is where most people fail. You will want to give up. Inevitably you will have a bad day, you will take two steps forward and three steps back.

First of all, experiencing setbacks is completely normal, you are making a life-change after all. Secondly, it is not a reason to give up, it just means you need to have an even STRONGER WHY than your desire to give up.

Make sure you take the time to focus on why you are wanting this change in your life. Here are some questions to get you started:

— WHY is it important for you to get reach your fitness goal?
— What pain will you endure in the future if you don’t change your fitness routine?
— How amazing would you feel if you actually reached your goal?

Write these out in as much detail as possible and make it a habit to read these every day.

2. Accept where you are.

This is a critical step and may very well be the hardest. Acceptance requires you to take responsibility for your current circumstances, and understand that you didn’t get to where you are overnight.

Acceptance doesn’t come from a place of self-criticism or judgment. It’s simply about coming to terms with your reality and it’s a great way to let go of any victim mentality that might be keeping you from changing. Today, in fact right now, accept that you are in this situation because of your decisions, and commit to making a change for the better.

3. Fitness is a journey, not a destination.

It would be magical if we could snap our fingers and have your ideal body, career, and life? But that’s not the way things work in life. Good things take time, sacrifice, and effort.

Don’t set — or fall for — unrealistic goals, regardless of how attractive they may seem at first. Changing your body the right way will take time. Building healthier habits will take time. Cultivating a community of like-minded people will take time.

Researchers from University College London found that on average it takes 66 days to develop a new habit. And as such, you cannot expect a whole life and habit overhaul overnight. Focus on changing ONE thing at a time, because remember fitness is a JOURNEY, not a destination.

Most people try to rush through their fitness journey because they see it as a ‘sacrifice.’ They train the wrong way, take on painful diets, and eventually fail. Those are problems for people that have never been taught the right way to train, eat and self-care. Let us show you a better way.

Remember that anyone selling you a shortcut on the way to your fitness goal is basically making money off your failure. Play the long game, it’s the only one worth playing. Can you think of anything more valuable than investing in your wellbeing?

4. Find your tribe.

While things like affirmation and self-talk are extremely important, the truth is you need a tribe for those days when that just is not enough. There will be days when you are not motivated, don’t want to hit the gym, and instead just want to hit up the drive-thru. On those days when even your ‘why’ is not enough, your tribe can lift you up, remind you of your strength, and you can borrow their belief in you until you start to believe in yourself again.

The best part about developing a strong mind is that it won’t only help you change your body, it has the potential to help you change your whole life.

In his book, Warrior Mindset, Michael J. Asken asks you to imagine that “instead of getting tired or bogged down, instead of being distracted and tempted…drive forward with an unstoppable, bulletproof mentality… Developing that warrior’s mindset is like a workout for your mind, your philosophy and your soul.” Now just imagine what you could achieve with that type of mindset?

We are here for you.

At the Happy Factory, we pride ourselves in providing you with the right support, a realistic plan, and people who inspire you to strive for more.

We thrive on building community, fostering camaraderie and achieving goals in life. As a member, you’ll meet every trainer, connect with fellow members, and participate in signature activities inside and outside of the gym.

Come and join us, your first class is always on us!